Thought for the Day

You know how people LOVE to send you those emails with a sweet, sappy, sentimental thought for the day, or an encouraging reminder to remember the simple things that make life worth living, or a special serenity prayer that ends with the threat of eternal damnation if you don't send it to 57 people in the next 20 seconds? Well, in honor of those thoughtful emails, I'd like to share with you a little thought for the day someone recently sent to me. And remember: if you don't forward it to 238 people in the next 5.22 seconds, God will kill your goldfish. Enjoy!

When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

When you're happy -- I'll take all of the credit for making you that way.

When you're broke -- I said I'll "PRAY" for you, not Pay for you.

When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused -- I will use little words.

When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask; because you are my friend.